If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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