you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
