How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
