peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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