you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
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