1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
