Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
