no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
