Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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