Buhtt sex?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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