it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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