Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize