DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
you never un-have a 4some
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
