His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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