I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
