I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
