we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
