Christians are straight up FREAKS
A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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