I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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