my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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