I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
