are you still at the devil's house?
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She made me pour olive oil on her.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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