I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
