Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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