I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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