all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
