Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
