you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i wish my penis had a tongue
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Randomize
