I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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