$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
