No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
