Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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