Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
people are starting to question the shark bite story
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
