found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
