i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
