Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
