I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I love black thongs
they need to just BURY HIM!
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
