do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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