i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I am full of burrito and curiosity
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
