Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
