hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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