If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
