Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
