So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
