I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
