why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
