Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
