i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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