he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
how drunk are you?
Several
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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