our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
